Friday, July 15, 2011

A conversation with Dick Morris' "assistant"

Dick Morris is doing robocalls to save the country from Barack Obama.

Morris provided (in secrecy) advice to good, old Bill Clinton on how to work with Republicans. And his favorite sexual fetish is toe sucking. Hey, to each his own.

And now Dick is calling "conservative leaders" in communities around the country to enlist them in his "revolt" (name of new book) against Obama and his "socialist" policies.

That is hilarious on several levels. First, Obama is (to my mind, sadly) very distant from any sort of socialist. He is a status quo politican trying to hold the line against both real left wing change and right wing craziness.

Second, Dick had his robots call me. Conservative leader? Wow. That must be some list they are working with.

Well, I decided to take and stay on the call. It was lots of fun!

He gave his recorded, vapid spiel (he actually said that he believes his book will be the single most important tool to defeat Obama. Now, that's arrogance.) and then asked me to stay on the line so I could take a survey with his "assistant." I stayed on. A real, live woman came on the line.

"Are you Dick Morris' assistant?" I asked her brightly.

Pause. "Um, well, I guess I am one of his assistants." OK.

So then the "survey" began. "Which Republican President do you like best?"

I am sure they were fishing for Reagan. I said: "Abraham Lincoln."

Pause. "Oh, well, that's the first time I've heard that."

"Really?" I replied with amazement in my voice. "I mean, he is like the original, great Republican president! Abolished slavery! That's hard to beat!"

She agreed tentatively and we moved on.

She then asked me a question about which was really a diatribe about Obama's policies and how he helps Muslims more than he helps Americans.

"Really?" I asked. "Cause he's sure been helping Americans a lot, all that money in the stimulus plan...what's he been doing for Muslims?"

"Uh, well, I don't really know, but..." and she gathered herself together... "Muslims can come to this country and think they just get medical care for free. No other countries do that."

"Really? I thought there were a bunch of European countries - I guess they're kind of socialist - where if you get hurt, you go to a hospital and they just take care of you. That sounds great to me!"

Then she said something about government deciding what kind of health care we can get. To which I replied: "That sounds like my HMO. You've got insurance company bureaucrats deciding whether or not I can get a procedure done. They're not doctors. It drives me crazy!"

"I know what you mean," she said.

There: just goes to show matter the political divide, everyone hates insurance companies and HMOs.

Needless to say, she didn't get a donation from me.

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