Rangitoto, New Zealand: Baby Land

New Zealand is a whole bunch of islands, formed from volcanic eruptions. And 30 minutes by ferry ride east of Auckland City is Rangitoto, the very newest of these islands. Its volcano erupted just 600 years ago, and almost all the vegetation on the island is less than 200 years old.

New Zealand is a whole bunch of islands, formed from volcanic eruptions. And 30 minutes by ferry ride east of Auckland City is Rangitoto, the very newest of these islands. Its volcano erupted just 600 years ago, and almost all the vegetation on the island is less than 200 years old.

I couldn't pass up the chance to walk on such new land, and hike up to the summit for a look around. So I took the first ferry out, 9:15 AM, along with a lot of other people. I noticed many of them slathering on the sun block and found myself worrying a bit: "Shouldn't I be doing the same thing?" Coming from Chicago in the winter, it's not as if my skin is tanned and ready to withstand the hot, bright New Zealand summer sun....well, I had sunglasses (really poor quality sunglasses in fact, that are too tight and give me a headache if I wear them for too long - silly me) and a Wallabies rugby cap, gifted to me by Vanessa of Quest while I was in Sydney. I figured I would be OK.

We arrived at the pier and disembarked. Rangitoto is not a tourist haven. There are no shops, no food or drinkable water available. Whatever you plan to consume, you bring with you. I had a decent size bottle of water and a bag of nuts and raisins. Now, while Rangitoto is not developed, it is also not empty. The shoreline is dotted with tiny little "Bach" houses. When I first saw references to the "Bach" community on websites, I thought to myself: "Weird. They can't even get their webpages spell-checked," certain that they meant to write "Beach". Nope. "Bach" is short for "bachelor" -- apparently several decades ago it was very common for single men to build these tiny little shacks near beautiful spots to crash while away for the weekend to enjoy the surf, etc. George, my eco-guide to Waitekere, pointed out some of the same in the Waitekere Ranges.

OK, off the boat and on to my hike. Of course, for those who were not ready willing or able to walk to the summit, you could hop on a trailer that was pulled by a tractor. Not for me! Well...it was a hard climb. At first relatively flat, walking along a bulldozed trail cut out of what is clearly new land - mostly just low brush, a few trees, and lots of black, volcanic rock. And lots of sun. I was very glad for my cap, but worried about my ears and neck. I kept turning the cap for maximum coverage against the position of the sun.

And then the ascent grew steeper. I was hiking in some new New Balance 857s, which are great running shoes but not great hiking shoes. Not enough support in the sole or in the uppers. I ended up with blisters on several toes, mostly from the downhill climb. But I managed to get to the summit in about 45 minutes -- the trail markers estimated 1 hour to climb and I was impressed. That is the amount of time someone in pretty good shape would climb the summit. For most out of shape Americans, it could be well more than that. And I was amazed to see (as I descended from the summit, and passed people who were way behind me) a whole bunch of people trying to climb wearing only flip-flops! Many of them made eye contact with me and others coming down with clear questions in their eyes and on their lips: "How much further?"

Well, the summit was excellent. Fantastic view all around, could see all the way back to Auckland City and the Sky Tower (from which insane, adrenalin junkies jump) and into the volcano's crater. I was a bit disappointed there - it was covered with vegetation like everything else. I was hoping for more of a volcanic/lunar kind of landscape. Ah well...I took the Crater Rim Walk and was about half-way around - and actually having climbed up off the trail for a better view into the crater, when I heard a boy yelling with increasing hysteria and tears: "Daddy? Daddy? DADDY!"

I hurried back down to the trail and found little Sam, perhaps 8 years old, alone on the trail and very upset. He was from some town in New Zealand that I could barely understand, something along the lines of "Wallabangadanga". His dad and other brother had gotten ahead of him, and his mom and younger brother were behind. Pretty clearly, he'd turned down the crater trail, while his dad and brother went on up to the summit. So I walked him around to the summit, trying to calm him down.

We get to the summit and he says "There's my dad!" but his Dad doesn't notice him and doesn't seem to even notice that Sam is not with him. Sam finally walks over to his dad and his brother. I kept my distance but listened. "Hey Sam, what's wrong? Did you fall down? Were you yelling back there? What? You got lost? Oh, well, you're here now." More tears and pathetic sounds from Sam. "Well, I won't lose you again," with a laugh and clap on the shoulder. His dad sounded like a real loser. Not only did he actually not notice that he had lost his middle son, but he basically made fun of the boy and expressed no real concern about what had happened. Sam could definitely have fallen off the side of hill, if he got really upset and panicked. Poor kid (in the blue shirt). So the message of the day was: Can't trust your dad, and total strangers seem to care more about you.

On the way down, I visited the lava caves. They were small and very dark, but I made my way through one of them, following some young boys with inadequate flashlights. I also went off the path and found another cave, which was really a big hole in the ground and from there, who knows? I did not climb down to look around. But I did come across some very interesting and beautiful and fragile growths on the bare volcanic rock. It looked very much like white coral, growing into the air.

Before heading back to the ferry, I stopped at the Kidney Fern Glen, which was a wonderfully peaceful and lush area, very different from the open volcanic areas.

All in all, a really nice way to spend the morning.

Here is the link to all my Rangitoto photos.

I am very sorry that I don't have the time to explain each one, but hopefully you can still enjoy them.

SF

A visit to the Waitekere Ranges, New Zealand

I landed in Auckland on January 23rd. My first visit to New Zealand, a country of which I have heard so much over the years. Off I went to my hotel, the Langham (voted Best NZ Hotel in 2007 - certainly a very nice place), noticing very quickly that Auckland is like most cities: mostly concrete and steel and brick, full of smelly vehicles and so on.
I vowed to get out of the city as soon as possible....

I landed in Auckland on January 23rd. My first visit to New Zealand, a country of which I have heard so much over the years. Off I went to my hotel, the Langham (voted Best NZ Hotel in 2007 - certainly a very nice place), noticing very quickly that Auckland is like most cities: mostly concrete and steel and brick, full of smelly vehicles and so on.

I vowed to get out of the city as soon as possible, and explore the natural environs. So I finished up my two days of training for Oracle (with a small, but very engaged and friendly class) and then on Saturday morning was driven to the Waitekere Ranges (pronounced Why-TAK-er-ay) by George of Bush and Beach for an "eco-tour." Waitekere is due west of Auckland City and is now a large reserve that goes all the way to the west coaches and the black sand beaches there.

George was a food processor analyst for some 25 years, advising food companies on FDA regulations (for import into the US). A transplant from Scotland, he decided a few years ago to stop doing anything he didn't really like to do, so he quit that job and switched to eco-tour guiding, since he loves the outdoors and heads over to the Ranges almost every weekend anyway.

Well, it was a very fine day. I won't go into all the details, but instead offer some highlights. As one reads, New Zealand was a very isolated place (multiple islands, large and small) so flora and fauna developed in some unique ways. No snakes, no mammals naturally occurring on the island; and the Maoris who arrived hundreds of years ago lived in a sustainable way in the rainforests and other ecosystems that developed there. Unfortunately when the British (directly or indirectly as Australians) hit the beaches in the 1800s, things changed quickly....

** Captain Cook came to the island several times, and often dropped off pigs on the island to breed and provide meet for the settlers. To this day, Kiwis (that is how New Zealanders refer to themselves) say things like "I'll put a Captain Cooker on the barbecue for dinner." Well, at least pigs didn't take over the island and destroy whole species.

** Unfortunately, Brits also introduced rabbits and deer and possum and stoats. Now, many of the unique birds on the island were flightless, so they lay their eggs in nests in the ground. Stoats went wild, growing madly and unchecked, gorging themselves on the eggs and eradicating many species, or coming close to it. The possums ravaged many trees due to overpopulation. In later years, the NZ government has led highly organized campaigns to beat back the possums, and now some of the bird species are returning to the forests. George told us how when he was much younger, he and the boys would head out to the west coach beaches, like Piha, and see how many possums they could kill along the way (the animals would lie on the warm roads at night). What good citizens!

** Wood pigeons are one particular breed on the mend. We saw one as we walked through the Auckland City Track. These birds are big, fat things and like to eat the fruit of the palm trees that grow on the island (no coconuts, though). The fruit often ferments while on the tree, the birds eat the fermented fruit, and then they get drunk. Back in the day when the birds could be hunted (and probably still done by some Maori claiming indigenous privilege), you could simply toss a stick up at the bird and knock it off the tree. It would be too drunk to fly away.

** The Pururi grub has an interesting lifecycle. It bores into trees, creating a hollowed out area. Then it builds a cocoon and emerges during the summer months as one of the largest moths on the planet: the Pururi Moth. Its wings are bright flourescent green and it doesn't have much of a life to look forward to. It is born without a mouth or digestive system, so it lasts at most a few days time, in which it mates and leaves behind the next generation of grubs, or is food for some other animal. http://www.terranature.org/gigantism.htm

** The Manuka Bush is another one of those incredible stories of how the rainforests are full of plants that may hold cures for lots of what ails us. I didn't know this before, but honey generally serves as a natural antibiotic. Well, the Manuka takes that a step further. When the plants, which grow prolifically all over NZ, starts to bud, beekeepers move the bee hives near the bushes. The bees visit the flowers and take back whatever the active ingredient of the Manuka is to their hives and it goes into the honey. This Manuka Honey, in strong enough concentrations, serves as a powerful antibiotic that is effective at killing off the super-resistant strains of viruses that are rampaging through hospitals, immune to all of the pharmaceutical companies' antibiotics. You spread it topically on wounds and infections simply don't occur. It is being used in Iraq by the US Armed Forces, according to George. I bought a couple bottles of medical strength (25) Manuka Honey, as well as version (strength level 5) that you can eat like you would regular old honey - it's supposed to be very good for digestive problems, as well. I hold out hope that the medicinal version could help some members of my family who are having serious problems with hives.
http://www.purezing.com/living/food_articles/living_articles_antibiotichoney.htm

** The kawakawa plant is another very interesting resident of the forests. You can readily identify the plant by its leaves, which are usually full of holes from caterpillar munching. Caterpillars are abundant, because birds to not like the flavor of the leaves - a somewhat basil-ly sort of taste. You chew the leaf and it makes your breath fresh - but chew it for too long and gets very bitter. And don't swallow, cause it could you give you a stomachache.

** Rangiora is known as the Bushman's Friend. Its leaves are strong and resist tearing, but they are supple. Plus the underside of the leaf is velvety soft. Let's see...soft, supple, doesn't tear easily....yes, it is nature's own toilet paper.

** The rata vine - now this was really amazing. George pointed out a fern soon after we started on the first Waitekere track that had lots of very small (a 10th the size of a fingernail) roundish green leaves growing on it. It was a young rata vine. These vines creep up the trunk of a tree or plant, and then blend into the surface of the tree itself, growing with the tree. Overtime, the rata vine gets thicker and thicker and after the tree or plant dies, it basically takes over, growing in the place of the original plant. He showed us a rata vine that is estimated to be over 600 years old! Here are a variety of photos: Young Rata - Ancient Rata - Young and Old Rata - Explanation.

** Finally and most awfully, the Kauri tree. Kauris were abundant up through the first half of the 19th century. They are (mostly were) the giants of the rainforest. They are, like many New Zealand trees, a hardwood. So hard, in fact, that a Kauri trunk that was buried for 30 million years was excavated and found to still be wood - it had not yet rotted or fossilized. The Kauris grow straight up, shedding branches from the trunks until 20-30 meters up (60-90 feet). They live (used to live) for thousands of years, with the biggest growing to 9 meters in diameter, or more. Their bark also sheds as the trees grow, naturally casting off vines, moss and other growths that might harm the tree. Amazing, eh? Too amazing. The British Navy realized that the trees would be a great source of timber for masts and for planking (they lasted a long, long time in the seawater). And so the clear cutting began. Massive devastation and waste ensued. And it gets worse. It was discovered that the gum of the tree (cut into the trunk and it "bleeds" gum), when mixed with linseed oil, created a very hard and durable resin. So trees were bled by the thousands, and then left to die. Now NZ is working hard to replant and save any remaining Kauris. I saw some trees that were certainly massive to my way of thinking, but puny compared to what had been cut down.

I tell you, a visit to New Zealand does not make a person of Western Europe proud. Actually, a visit to and education about so many places on the globe (the Americas North and South, Africa, Australia - where it was legal to hunt down, shoot to kill, Aborigines until the first half of the 20th century, New Zealand, and so on) is enough to make any Caucasian with a conscience burn with shame. Of course, in New Zealand, it was the Maori, Polynesians who arrived hundreds of years before the British, fought hard against the settlers and were massacred over and over again. Now, their remnants struggle for dignity or are assimilated. Oh, and as with the aborigines of Australia, their art is highly prized.

More on my visit to New Zealand to come...I still need to tell you about my visit to a very young piece of land - the 600 year old Rangitoto Island!

In the meantime, here is a link to all the Waitekere photos...

http://flickr.com/photos/60694364@N00/sets/72157603800592108/

More, more on Singapore!

I am on my last day of a 2.5 week swing through APAC (Asia Pacific). I have been in Auckland, New Zealand for the last five days and will write about that soon. But first, some thoughts on the first stop of my trip....

Singapore was a fascinating place. It seems to be something of a benevolent dictatorship. Strict enforcement of laws, I saw police wandering down very busy Orchard Street with automatic weapons slung over their shoulders and their fingers on the triggers!. Minimal freedom of speech rights - my friends from Quest Software joked as we sat at a restaurant for dinner that officially we could be arrested, since you were not allowed to gather in groups of three or more. And public criticism of the government is strongly discouraged or avoided. The newspapers had a "feel good" feeling to them, with minimal coverage of terrible events around the world and lots of articles promoting positive lifestyles. But they also contained articles that raised clear concerns regarding quality of life issues for residences. Definitely not any sort of oppressive feeling as I walked around the very crowded streets, or rode the bustling metro.

No, overall I got the sense that the Government of Singapore offered a very interesting "deal" to its citizens: behave and follow the rules, and we will give you very little to complain about. For example:

* Mass transit is of incredibly high quality and low cost. The metro was clean, modern, beautiful, absolutely packed with people. The bus system - yes, I actually took a public bus, which totally amazed some of the tech people I met; I guess that wasn't a very standard tourist/American thing to do - also seemed very comprehensive and efficient.

* There is strong discouragement to own and drive a car. Singapore is a very small island and they are very concerned about environmental quality, about overcrowding. So there are very high taxes on cars. Stanley of Quest told me that the Subaru Forester that I paid about $22K for in Chicago would cost something like $80K in Singapore (assuming he meant Singapore $, that is at least US$45K). And there is a mandatory electronic metering system - every car must have a sensor installed in it. And as you drive around through the busy areas, you are dinged small tolls. Drive during rush hour? Extra charges...and so on. You have to be well off to own a car. But that's OK, because mass transit is so fantastic.

* According to one friend, 85% of the housing stock is government owned and maintained. Individuals can buy 99 year leases on the properties - almost all of them apartments in substantial complexes. So in effect people own their own homes, but the government guarantees good upkeep, painting them every five years and performing other maintenance. So there is a more of a sense of their own government caring, and a personal investment in keeping one's home and environs nice.

Of course, I saw only a small part of the island and talked to only a small fraction of the population, admittedly from the more affluent, high tech sector. Still from walking around the streets, from taking the bus, from visiting the Bukit Timah nature reserve, I didn't get the sense of a lot of suppressed anger or dissatisfaction. Instead, everyone I met was polite, friendly, even enthusiastic....

The motto of the Singapore Government is "Integrity * Service * Excellence" and I have the strongest impression that they actually take this mandate seriously.

Here in the US, we value our rights and our Constitution, and well we should. But in the meantime, our government has been hijacked by right-wing Christian fundamentalists and corrupted by the widespread purchasing of votes and legislation by multinational corporation. Fifty million people have no health insurance, our infrastructure is falling apart, public education is failing, crime is rampant, government workers at all levels are considered losers and often do very shoddy work. Hundreds of millions of guns flood the nation and are used by the mentally unbalanced and criminal elements to kill thousands and injure many thousands more each year. Our economy is a house of cards (over $1 trillion in credit card debt alone) and big chunks of that economy are now being snapped up by foreign governments and companies - including the Government of Singapore!

Singapore seems more and more like a darned good deal these days.

What a rough life I have

2007 was a busy year for me.

Quest Software released Quest Code Tester for Oracle, a tool that will (according to me, anyway) revolutionize the world of PL/SQL testing and more broadly development. It hasn't yet taken the world by storm, but it is off to a solid start.

I wrote and O'Reilly published the 2nd edition of Oracle PL/SQL Best Practices, a very entertaining book that I hope you will enjoy very much (if you write PL/SQL code).

I traveled to Europe a half dozen times, doing trainings for Oracle in eight different countries and many seminars for Quest, and also visited India for the first time ever - quite an amazing country with a incredibly vibrant, rapidly growing community of PL/SQL developers.

In fact, I traveled so much that I got two pieces of really horrible news during the year:

** American Airlines upgraded my status to Executive Premier (which means I traveled more than 100,000 miles in the year - actually a total of over 130,000 miles). That means I can usually get complimentary international flight upgrades, and can hang out in fancy airline lounges.

** American Airlines also sent me a letter right at the end of the year congratulating me on crossing the 1,000,000 mile mark on AA flights. This means that I get a new frequent flyer card with a special "1M" purple icon on it, and now I am assured that my AA status will never fall below Gold no matter how little I fly in the future.

And this was all horrible news, because all it did was remind me of how I was sacrificing time with my wife and children to be a "jet setter." It's kind of weird...I found this person, Veva Silva, who made (makes) me more excited and happier than anyone else in the world, and yet I spend more time with AA flight attendants than I do with her (of late).

This has got to change.

I think that 2008 will be may last "life on airplanes" year. I am going to start pulling back on travel and adjusting how I spend my professional time.

In the meantime, however, it is only January, and I have already visited Singapore and Australia, doing trainings for Oracle and seminars for Quest. And I am right now flying to Auckland to finish up my tour and then head back home in 5 days. I am home for 10 days then off to Europe for a week, home for two weeks, then off to Europe for another two weeks. Craziness!

Yes, what a rough life. Let me give you an example from today of how rough it is for Steven the Premier Executive 1M traveler. Took a taxi to the Melbourne airport. Came in to the terminal and was confronted by a long line for check-in. At this point in my traveling life, standing in a queue is simply not what someone of my status should have to do. So there. So I looked around and found the Qantas Club check-in line, which is also for OneWorld ruby cardholders and above. I am Emerald. Even higher. So I got on that very short line. And a moment later, a very pleasant Qantas lady came over and asked to see my membership card, and then asked me to follow her. Did I do something wrong? No! I qualified for going into the small and very private First Class check-in room.

Okey, dokey. That was nice. So I waited about 1 minute there, during which I had the fortune to be able to hold hands with a beautiful little one year old girl who was very friendly. I almost was able to hold her - that would have certainly made my day - but then her parents left and so did she. So I checked in, and another very nice young lady asked me if I had visited the First Class lounge lately. No, I hadn't. Oh, I was told, you will like it very much. Great! I replied.

So off I went through the express Immigration queue (almost no line) and made my way to the Qantas First lounge. Now, on my way over to Singapore, I stopped over in Tokyo and visited the Japan Air Lines First Class lounge. That was very nice - completely putting to shame even the AA Flagship Lounges. They even had a half dozen shiatsu massage chairs. I sat in one for 20 minutes. That was fantastic.

But the Qantas First lounge was the most amazing of all. First of all, it featured several living walls - walls covered with real, live, green, moist, growing vines and flowers. So beautiful and it smelled so nice. Complementary wireless, sit-down restaurant with cooked to order food. And...a spa with free massages! Well, I couldn't pass that up, so after checking my email for urgent matters, I visited the spa. More living walls, soft music, running water - and a 20 minute personal massage that left me feeling both relaxed and revitalized and even rehydrated (just like their materials promised).

Then it was time to board the plane. And even though I only had an exit row economy aisle seat, and even though the open seat next to me was after takeoff occupied by a guy who couldn't stand to sit near a family with kids....I still feel very relaxed. Somehow, somehow, I will manage to survive this flight without sitting in a business class seat.

And that, dear friends, is just a glimpse into my rough life.

If only Veva could be traveling with me.....

[Update: at the end of the flight as we were waiting to leave the plane and enter New Zealand, I did get to hold a very cute little 7 month old baby. That was so nice....]

Bush "Stimulus" Plan: DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!

President Bush claims to want to save us from a recession. He wants more tax cuts that might on average put a few hundred dollars into the pockets of individual Americans - which will do exactly what? Pay off 1% of their credit card debt? Encourage them to buy another HDTV?

I say that Bush really wants us to continue digging ourselves into a deeper and deeper hole with one key result:

The weakening and eventual collapse of the US Government as we know it.

Bush comes out of the neocon wing of the Republicans who have been pushing and following Reagan's longterm plan:

Defund the government so that it cannot provide services to its citizens so the citizens get more and more disgusted with the government so the middle class supports endless tax cuts (which almost always overwhelmingly favor the richest), meaning the government can do even less. Which gets people even more pissed up, so they support the next round of tax cuts.

Pile a war, no two wars, on top of that, causing a massive transfer of our tax dollars from health, human services, education, etc. into the pockets of executives and shareholders of Halliburton, Northrup, Boeing, etc.

And then push for increased privatization of government services -- since obviously the government is screwed up and can't do anything right....and eventually there will be no more government. Just a bunch of corporations extracting every last possible dollar out of the citizens of the greatest democracy on Earth.

Until there is nothing left -- and the Chinese middle class has grown large enough to provide the necessary consumption levels. And then US corporations (already thoroughly globalized) will simply write off US consumers as a bunch of losers. At which point the US government, run by lobbyists and their paid-for pals, will stop bailing out the economy and then recession will be a mild word for what we experience.

We don't need tax cuts. We need a government that uses our current tax dollars wisely. We need a government that cracks down on speculators and greedy millionaires and billionaires who pillage through the wallets of poor and middle class Americans - and then when their ludicrous pyramid schemes come crashing down go to the government (us) for a handout. We need a government that will stimulate investment and growth without stripping its own ability to deliver on services and regulatory enforcement.

A visit to Singapore - first report

I arrived in Singapore at 12:30 AM "today" (whatever that really means; I am not sure right now, having passed the international date line). Now it is 8:30 PM and I am totally exhausted. I flew for about 20 hours on Thursday-Friday, passing through Tokyo. That was rather grueling, and I had upgrades. I will be doing two days of training for Oracle Corporation on Mon-Tue, then on to Sydney on Wed (7 more hours of flying) and more training there, then Melbourne, then Auckland and then home. I'm really looking forward to the flight home. Well, I am looking forward (already) to being back home, but the flight? No...not really looking forward to that.

Singapore has a reputation for being a very safe and clean place, which is achieved at least in part by very strict enforcement of laws. I saw a bit of this on the immigration form I had to fill out to enter the country. Large red letters on one side said:

WARNING
DEATH TO DRUG TRAFFICKERS
UNDER SINGAPORE LAW

Anyway, I spent today walking around Singapore, riding their beautiful and very crowded Metro, and melting a bit in the heat. It is mid-80s here. When I was in Chicago I relished the thought of going to a warm place. The lack of snow and shivers really is nice, but it is also taking its toll on me. Hopefully I will be better adjusted tomorrow, Sunday, when I plan to visit a big nature preserve, among other things.

Singapore is a busy, vibrant, crowded, clean city. It also feels a little bit like a big Disneyland island, full of parks and resorts that offer quasi-pretend, constructed environments in which tourists (and there are lots of us, it seems) and citizens can "experience" things, including: Underwater World, Jurong BirdPark, Night Safari, Sentosa Island (a whole, small island south of the main island full of resorts and constructed beaches and so on), Snow City (!!!! - "Singapore's first permanent indoor snow centre"), Chinese Gardens, Japanese Gardens, Malay Village, etc.

And then there are the shopping malls. There are lots of malls. Big ones, upscale ones (and I am sure lots of less upscale ones in neighborhoods I have not visited), and they are all very crowded. The taxi cab driver from the airport told me that I could still get lots of good deals right now because the Chinese New Year is approaching and there are lots of sales.

....................

Well...now it is Wed and I am waiting to board a flite to Sydney. 7.5 more hours on the plane. I will write more about my time here - it was great, especially my visit to Bukit Timah - http://www.nparks.gov.sg/nature_bukit.asp.

But in the meantime, you can see all my photos (most without any descriptive info, sorry) at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/60694364@N00/sets/72157603727281231/?photo_deleted=2195886325

Some of my favorite foods

I like to eat. And I am very fortunate in that I have been able to eat large quantities of food and not gain weight (though as I get older, this is less and less of a sure thing). So I thought I would share with the world some of my favorite foods.

Potato Knish from Knish-Nosh (Forest Hills, NY)

Ah, potato knishes – such great comfort food! Seasoned mashed potato cooked inside a thin crust of dough....a classic Jewish food and one that I enjoyed greatly as a child. I can still remember going to work with my Dad and being handed a few dollars and given instructions: "Go down to the deli and bring back hot dogs and knishes for us." What an adventure!

Today, the best knishes I have come across may be found at a small and very busy storefront operation on Queens Avenue in Forest Hills: Knish-Nosh. They churn out thousands of knishes a day, most filled with potato, some with pastrami and other way out (for me) fillings. I'm a knish traditionalist: potato only, please.

Veva's Poppy Seed Cake

Veva, my wife, is a really fine cook. I can still remember in the early days of our marriage being totally blown away by the fact that she made her own pasta for lasagna. I gained something like 50 pounds in our first year of marriage.

And her poppy seed cake with cream cheese frosting is just delightful. Very rich, certainly very rich, but not too sweet. Definitely one of my favorite desserts of all time.

Veva's Chocolate-covered Almonds

In recent years, Veva discovered Blommer's Chocolate, a shop where you can buy bulk quantities of high quality chocolate. And with one of those 10 lb. slabs of chocolate and roasted, salted almonds, she makes far and away the best chocolate-covered almond candies that I have ever tasted in my life! I think that is partly because they are saltier than the usual stuff you buy in the stores....

Mom's Chocolate Raisin Cookies

Hmmm. Another dessert? Yes, it certainly is a good thing I don't put on weight too easily. This recipe was handed down from my grandmother, if I remember correctly. My mom's cookies are (like most baked goods) best eaten fresh, right out of the oven. They are rather simple cookies – a smooth texture, not-too strong chocolate, liberally populated by raisins. I can eat dozens of them in a single sitting.

Brussels Sprouts in Ramen Noodles

What about vegetables? Don't I like vegetables? Aboslutely! I discovered Brussels sprouts relatively late in life, but I now declare them to be my favorite vegetable. I think that part of the reason for this vaunted place in my "top ten" list of foods is that I have a preference for bitter flavors. If something is really bitter, I don't like it. But slightly bitter? Ah, that seems to increase my enjoyment dramatically. That's why I like tonic water so much – and Brussels sprouts have a bitter flavor that is best balanced by grilled onions.

So what I do is cut up an onion and a whole bunch of fresh garlic cloves, sautee them in a pan, then toss in a couple handfuls of Brussels sprouts and cook those, being sure to slightly burn the outsides. Then I boil all that in water for a little while to make sure those Brussels sprouts are cooked. Finally, I toss in the ramen noodles. The result? A really wonderful soup!

Garlic Naan

A naan is a flat bread that is baked on the side of the Indian Tandoori ovens. They literal slap the raw dough on the vertical walls of the oven (at the bottom of which is cooked Tandoori chicken) and pull them off when the bread is crispy and dark.

Add to that lots and lots of fresh, diced garlic.

Serve it piping hot at the table.

What could be more delightful? A garlic naan with more garlic, I suppose!

Cherries

Fruit is really amazing stuff. Most of it is really beautiful, from the standpoint of both form and color. And so much of it tastes completely delicious – with any need for processing by food conglomerates. I like all sorts of fruit, but I would have to say that my favorite fruit is the dark red, juicy (and yes perhaps even a tiny bit bitter) cherry. When they are in season, I devour them voraciously. I am kind of fussy about my cherries (and most fruit; I think I got this from my dad). I like them to be firm and crunchy. If they are the least bit soft, I leave them for less discerning consumers, like well just about everyone else, including my wife and sons, or blend into a yogurt smoothie.

Peanut Butter and Low Sugar Red Raspberry Jelly on Ritz Crackers

What can I say? I am a simple soul. PBJ is, of course, a classic combination. And when the jelly isn't too sweet (Smucker's Low Sugar Red Raspberry is my favorite)...and when the Ritz crackers are fresh and crisp, well....I am a happy camper, as they say, whoever they are.

Fried / Tempura Cauliflower

French fries are good, especially when they are "fresh cut" – not processed potato "product", but simply sliced up potatoes. Fried onions are very tasty, but I don’t think that sliced onions are best suited to be enclosed within an outer fried crust. They can be mushy and I hate that. Ah, but fried cauliflower – that is one excellent snack....the cauliflower stays nice and firm (if you don't over-fry it anyway) and there is lots of surface area to which the outer layer can adhere.

Pasteis de Belem

The most recent addition to my list, these are small vanilla cream pastries that are served piping hot in one restaurant in the Belem area of Lisbon. I went there in December with my friends from Dutec, who sponsored my seminar in that fine city. It was quite an experience. Hundreds of people crowded into a winding and seemingly never-ending maze of rooms. All of us ordering 3, 6, 9 and more of these little pastries (the cream rests in a crispy, crunchy pastry shell) along with cappuccino or port or water or whatever, the waiters scurrying in and out of the kitchen.

And that is all they serve at Pasteis de Belem – that one pastry. And they have been doing it since 1837.

Mmmmm. I can't wait to go back to Lisbon and eat there again!

Going back through my notebook, I remembered that I even wrote a poem about my experience:

Pasteis de Belem

Life in the moment
and the moment
is a fresh, hot pastry.
Crusty on the outside,
creamy on the inside,
not too sweet.
Want to take
small bites.
Make each one last.
But they are so fresh
they come apart in my hand
even after a single, careful bite.
No choice
but to gobble.

Evan Almighty – One Bizarre Film

I watched a lot of movies over the holidays. I was actually home for four straight weeks, sandwiched between out of country trips (I am now flying over Alaska en route to Singapore for two weeks of trainings for Oracle – Singapore, then Melbourne, Sydney and Auckland). And with the cold winter nights, my wife and I settled into a pattern of playing a game of Scrabble and then watching a movie.

So we went through lots of movies. And one of the strangest movies I watched was Evan Almighty. This movie is a follow on from Bruce Almighty. In Bruce Almighty, God (played with obvious relish by Morgan Freeman) bestows upon Bruce (Jim Carey) all his godly powers, and Bruce makes a hash of things.

In Evan Almighty, Freeman reprises his rather thin role as God, and this time Steve Carrel is assigned the role (by the movie's director and by God) of Noah.

A newly-elected Congressman (previously a TV anchor, and a shallow, obnoxious, self-centered fellow), Evan has just moved to Washington, and is settling with his family into a big suburban home.

Well, I am not going to go through the whole plot. God leaves Evan little choice but to wear a long beard and flowing robes, and to build an ark. Why? Is the world going to flood all over again? Have we been that bad?

Undoubtedly, we (or the powers that be that are ruining our world) have been that bad. But in this case...

DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE ENDING

The bad guy is a corrupt Congressman, who has allowed contractors building a dam nearby to cut corners. So at the appointed time, the dam breaks, the water comes surging down the valley, and – Hallelujah! – Evan, his family, the thousands of animals who have gathered in twos from around the world, and some lucky few people who boarded the ark in a panic, are saved.

As a bonus, the bad Congressman is exposed and punished.

As a double bonus, he is no longer a jerk and his kids finally like him.

So why do I call this movie bizarre?

OK, let's revisit what just "happened":

• God knows that the dam was going to break on September 22 at mid-day.
• God goes to Evan and calls on him to build an ark (giving him no choice in the process). A really big ark.
• Animals came from all over the place (or maybe they just emptied out of the DC Zoo?) to get on the ark.
• The "flood" does not sweep the world, it only devastates a big chunk of the Washington DC metro area.

So I found myself asking afterwards:

• Why did all those animals get on the boat if the flood wasn't going to wipe out the rest of their species?
• Why didn't God tell Evan to evacuate the Washington DC metro area?

In other words, the unspoken subtext of this movie is that God chose to let the broken dam kill thousands of people (all of them sinners?) by instructing Evan to build an ark.

There is no other way to interpret the effect of that enormous wave of water crashing through the suburbs and DC.

Yet this awful consequence is left entirely unmentioned in the movie. No mourning of the destruction and lives lost.

And Evan is the hero...for saving the lives of oh maybe 100 people when he could have saved 1000s.

I think that is just downright bizarre.

Electonric Voting System DOs and DON'Ts

Most electronic voting takes place on machines supplied by Diebold, which is run by people who contribute or have contributed heavily to the Republican Party:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/politicselections/2004-06-08-diebold-donations_x.html
http://www.motherjones.com/commentary/columns/2004/03/03_200.html

That doesn't mean their machines aren't flawless, bug-free, and a great aid to our democracy. It just so happens, though, that many people have proven that their machines are full of bugs and security flaws. I believe that closed, black-box electronic voting systems that those provided by Diebold are a great threat to our democracy.

The problems encountered by these systems have prompted others, including the Open Voting Consortium, to press for a completely open and transparent approach - including PAPER TRAILS - when it comes to electronic voting.

OVC sent out this "dos and donts" yesterday.

Wrong way: Take the ballots into a room where few people can see or understand what's going on, then come out and announce the results.

Right way: Conduct the tabulation in public where everyone can see and understand what's going on, and the results are apparent to everyone.

Wrong way: Use software code that only certain people sworn to secrecy can review

Right way: Use software code that is fully open to public scrutiny

Wrong way: Make the system as convoluted as possible and force the public to just trust the officials

Right way: Make the system as simple as we can

Wrong way: Print the voter's selections on little curled-up strips of paper that make it difficult to handle them and count them (try stacking up your grocery receipts) and the law says are NOT BALLOTS anyway

Right way: Print the voter's selections on regular-sized durable paper -- called a BALLOT -- that can be easily handled and counted

Wrong way: Force voters with disabilities to use a separate system where they can't verify their ballot and which may compromise their privacy

Right way: Give voters with disabilities the same system as everyone else with a printed ballot that looks exactly like everyone elses ballot, and make it possible for them to verify their ballot.

If you are concerned about the future of our democracy, when it is so clearly manipulatable by these machines, I encourage you to contribute to OVC. They are building an open source voting system that is getting more attention from our elected officials.

Here are the details:

Press the PayPal button on http://openvoting.org or use OVC's Amazon account to contribute:

http://s1.amazon.com/exec/varzea/pay/T43MQSRHDPEDQ/102-0964310-0180917

New Year blogging resolution

I resolve that in 2008 I will post more frequently and more concise pearls of wisdom on my blog.

I tend to feel like I shouldn't write anything unless it is polished and fully elaborated. As a result, many of my most incredibly brilliant, witty and insightful thoughts never make it to my blog.

I know, I know - who would've thought it?

And to start right away on this resolution....

I listened to Mike Huckabee mock Mitt Romney for "flip-flopping" on issues - like his change in position regarding abortion - and thought to myself:

Poor Mitt. If only he wasn't a Republican. If he was a Democrat and was accused of "flip-flopping", he could reply:

"I didn't flip-flop. I changed my mind. After getting older and - I hope - a bit wiser, I realized that I had been wrong. That is what thoughtful, rationale people do through the course of their life. You have a problem with this? At least I am not like George W. Bush, who maintains his beliefs and positions even as they are contradicted completely by reality, even when a clear majority of the American public no longer believe him and believe he is wrong."

But poor Mitt cannot say this, because he thinks this President is peachy-keen.

[Note: I am not implying I think his earlier position in support of abortion was wrong. I think it was correct and he is mostly now pandering to the fundamentalist Christian extremists in this country.]

Dispatch from Lisboa (Lisbon)

Tomorrow I return to Chicago and Veva and Eli. I am so happy. It is my last trip of the year. I am getting REALLY tired of being on airplanes...just finished a visit to Lisboa (Lisbon), at which I did my best practice infotainment session for about 150 PL/SQL developers, sponsored by DUTEC. It was a wonderful visit to a beautiful city, made even better by the incredible hospitality of Joao and Carlos of DUTEC.

I loaded up all my Lisbon photos here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/60694364@N00/sets/72157603409690001/

And the highlights (first pass):

The Umbrella Tree - A truly incredible and beautiful tree I came across in the small Parque Real northwest of city center. It is a short, but horizontally spread tree held up by metal supports. Very peaceful.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/60694364@N00/2096440040/in/set-72157603409690001/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/60694364@N00/2096440194/in/set-72157603409690001/

Lisbon sidewalks - The sidewalks in Lisbon rival those of Prague, about which I have previously blogged. They don't have quite the regularity or, in some ways, granularity of the patterns in Prague, but they are still very attractive. This is one of my favorites.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/60694364@N00/2095661795/in/set-72157603409690001/

Jakub Nepras - Babylon Plant 2007 - The most impressive piece of artwork I saw at the Berardo Art Museum at the Belem Cultural Center was a 3 minute collage video by Jakub Nepras titled "Babylon Plant". It's really not possible to describe it to you; you have to see it and I urge you to seek it out if it comes to your town. Suffice it to say that many of the tiny splashes of color you see in the photo are actually things like people walking, cars moving through traffic.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/60694364@N00/2095660581/in/set-72157603409690001/\

"Where are your panties?" A rather off-beat piece of graffiti I encountered walking down from the Castle.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/60694364@N00/2096442726/in/set-72157603409690001/

Of course, there are many monuments, incredible old (and new) architecture, and so on....

Train station - http://flickr.com/photos/60694364@N00/2096438826/in/set-72157603409690001/
Lisbon Castle viewed from afar - http://flickr.com/photos/60694364@N00/2095654537/in/set-72157603409690001/
One of many tiled houses - http://flickr.com/photos/60694364@N00/2095665435/in/set-72157603409690001/
Memorial to Vasco de Gama (sailed around the Horn of Africa) - http://flickr.com/photos/60694364@N00/2096442222/in/set-72157603409690001/
Love-evoL-Love-evoL in plaza - http://flickr.com/photos/60694364@N00/2095661897/in/set-72157603409690001/

Enjoy!
Steven

My first visit to Warsaw

I write this from Slovenia; it is December 2 and for the next two days I will be training a group of PL/SQL developers in Ljubljana for Oracle Corporation.

I flew here this AM, from Warsaw, where I taught a class to Polish developers on Thursday and Friday. That was my first visit to Warsaw and it left a deep impression.

First, something kind of funny about Poland: when I travel internationally and mention that I am Chicago, I generally get one of two responses: "Al Capone!" or "Michael Jordan!"

But in Warsaw, the response is a knowing nod of the head: "The Other Polish Capitol" was how one person put it. Chicago has an enormous Polish population, so there are lots of connections between the two cities, and everyone there seems to be very aware of Chicago.

Beyond that, I found a city in which the past is very present, especially the past known as WWII and the Soviet Occupation.

For example, outside the national library is an enormous war memorial, set of sculptures, including this one. I usually find more peaceful and "bookish" themes/scultpures at such buildings.

I was also shocked by how little I knew of the history of Warsaw during WWII. I have long been familiar with the 1943 Ghetto Uprising, in which a small number (on the order of a few hundred) of very brave Jews decided to fight the Nazis rather than submit to shipment to Treblinka and certain death.

But I never really had heard of the Warsaw Uprising of 1944. Here's the shocking nutshell of what took place (I learned this from a visit to the remarkable Warsaw Rising Museum):

The Germans were clearly losing and also retreating. The Polish Home Army, based in Warsaw, and surviving underground, decided it was time to attack the hated Nazis and drive them from their city. So they launched a massive uprising involving 10s of thousands of soldiers. The element of surprise and sheer numbers gave the Poles the early advantage. Then Hitler ordered a full assault with reinforcements from surrounding countries. The Home Army asked for and expected support from the Allies.

But the previous year at Yalta, Stalin, Roosevelt and Churchill had already agreed on how they would carve up Europe (and more) - and Poland was in Stalin's playground. Stalin didn't want a successful, empowered and independent military/political base in Poland. He wanted to install his own puppet government. So his armed forces stopped their advance on the East side of the Wista River. He also refused to allow the Allies to use air fields under Russian control to resupply the Poles.

And so after a long, brutal battle throughout the city (during which the Nazis killed some 150,000 civilians - including the Wola massacre, in which 50,000 were killed in one day), the Home Army capitulated. Now, that's tragic enough. But there's more....

** Hitler was very, very pissed off and told the officers in charge in Warsaw to expel all remaining inhabitants and level the entire city (more specifically, he told them to rank buildings by their significance to Poles and destroy them in that order)! And they went about it very systematically. Warsaw was essentially completely destroyed. I had no idea.

** When the Germans were defeated and withdrew from the city, Stalin moved his forces in. He then arrested all the Home Army leadership, accused them of collaborating with the Nazis, executed many and threw the rest in prison. How twisted...

** The decision was made to rebuild the Old Town of Warsaw, buildings that had stood for hundreds of years. And so they did, so well in fact that the UN has recognized it as a World Heritage Site even though it is a reconstruction. Fair enough - but part of the way they were able to accomplish this is that the Soviet-controlled Polish government went to nearby towns and demolished their old buildings so that something like 27,000,000 million old bricks could be "donated" to the cause. Oh, so very twisted....

Whew. it is no wonder that Warsaw still shows its scars.

Don't get me wrong, though: people don't just live in the past, bitter and depressed about what was done to them. Warsaw is vibrant and growing. I very much enjoyed my time there....I just got some education along the way.

I'd like to end this post with some positive thoughts about how fortunate it is that we, humans, have moved beyond such brutality and perversion. Sdaly, I don't think the state of affairs in Iraq, Afghanistan, Sudan, Tibet, Gaza and so many other places filled with pain and suffering can afford me that generosity of spirit.

Back from Oracle Open World

(finally getting around to posting this!)

I am flying back from San Francisco; it is Wednesday evening, November 13. I made a relatively early departure from the overwhelming Oracle Open World conference, but I made good use of my time while there:

* Three presentations, with probably a total of 700 attendees. Nothing like Tom Kyte's blow-out experience, but hey there's no percentage in worrying about whether you could ever be as popular (or technically proficient) as Mr. Ask Tom!

* A Meet the Experts informal discussion at the OTN Lounge

* A book signing at the Toad World event on Tuesday night (O'Reilly Media released new editions of two of my books: Oracle PL/SQL Best Practices and Oracle PL/SQL Pocket Reference. The BP book is completely rewritten and, I think, one of my finer efforts. I hope you pick up a copy and enjoy it!

* Publishers Forum, an opportunity for senior Oracle managers to tell us what books they'd like us to be writing :-)

* Several media interviews - which gave me solid opportunities to repeat my latest mantra: "it is time to take testing much more seriously."

* Many one-on-one discussions with programmers on our favorite topic: PL/SQL.

As I implied above, I find the OOW experience to be generally quite overwhelming. Too many people, too much dilution of focus (DBAs and developers now seem to be a clear minority of attendees, with the majority "playing" in the application space). And, I must admit, large crowds simply make me nervous. I find humans mostly pleasant and rationale on an individual basis. In groups of 40,000 thought....hmmmm.....

Oracle addressed this issue somewhat by putting all developer-focused talks into a sub-conference at the Hilton hotel; that was very convenient, cutting down on the number of trips I had to make to Moscone.

Still, I remember with fondness the "old days," when OOW only had perhaps 5,000 in attendance, instead of 40,000. It was a much more technical experience, and much less of a marketing extravaganza by Oracle.

I am very glad to have gone, though. It is extremely important to make sure that PL/SQL has the highest possible visibility at OOW (Bryn Llewellyn, PL/SQL Product Manager, also had three presentations). This will cut down on the chance that the "PL/SQL is going to be replaced by Java" rumors will flourish once more.

I still get that question, though, and it always surprises me. Even if Oracle did rewrite the entire range of application software in Java, PL/SQL will not disappear. It runs hundreds of thousands of applications worldwide - PL/SQL will be around for as long as Oracle, and Oracle will continue to invest in improvements to the language. Of this, I am certain.

I also was able to enjoy a room on the 43rd floor of the Hilton, looking out over the Bay. Beautiful sunsets and sunrises and no evidence of the oil spill that has caused the latest ecological crisis in the area.

All in all, a quick and productive three days. And now back in Chicago, where autumn has arrived in full force and the land has turned yellow, as this view from my front door reveals.

Catching up with me at Oracle Open World

Sorry about the lateness of this posting, but if you are interested in attending my presentations next week at Oracle Open World, here's the info:

Session ID: S290723
Session Title: Break Your Addiction to SQL!
Track: Database
Room: Grand Ballroom A
Date: 2007-11-12
Start Time: 12:30

Session ID: S290725
Session Title: Collect Yourself: Optimize PL/SQL Code with Collections
Track: Database
Room: Yosemite Room B
Date: 2007-11-12
Start Time: 15:15

Session ID: S290727
Session Title: Test-Driven Development in the World of Oracle PL/SQL
Track: Database
Room: Continental Ballroom 6
Date: 2007-11-13
Start Time: 12:15

In addition, I will be at the OTN Lounge on Tuesday the 13^th (Moscone West) at 4:15 PM. I would love to see you there, and I think we will be raffling off a few of my books – you have very good odds on winning one of these!

Finally, on Tuesday night, I will be at the Quest Toad event (come round the booth #1414 for details) at which I will be signing complementary copies of my newest books (or latest editions, anyway).

Other than that, I will be hanging out at the Quest booth, eager to give demonstrations of Quest Code Tester....

More joys of Scrabble: zeugma

Zeugma

Now, that is a fine word, except it sounds like a made-up word.

I would have thought, in fact, that it was, but one of the joys of playing Scrabble (our way of playing, anyhow) is that you are given the opportunity to go exploring through the dictionary.

Sure, when I open the dictionary, I am supposed to simply be verifying the existence of a word. Along the way, however, my eye stops on the first and last words of the page and occasionally I get a nice surprise.

Like "zeugma."

Here is an example of a zeugma:

"He caught a fish and a bad cold."

So, you have waited long enough. Here is the definition of zeugma:

"The use of a word to modify or govern two or more words when it is appropriate to only one or them or is appropriate to each but in a different way."


Like I said: a very fine word!

October Travelogue #3:

Written on Saturday, October 27:

Here I am in seat 31C of an old Air India 747, making my way north to Paris and from there to Chicago. In some ten hours I will be home, at long last, after two weeks away - one in Europe and one in India.

For the last six days, I traveled to four different cities in India - Delhi, Bangalore, Chennai and Mumbai (Bombay) - and in each one, my friends at Quest Software India (led by Krishnan Thyagarajan, a very tall, very smart and very experienced software industry executive), put together a busy agenda that had me exhausted by the end of each day. My time in India was also just about the most successful, gratifying and exciting country tour I have ever experienced.

I'd been told for several years that there were lots of PL/SQL developers over in India who would love to come hear me speak. And, of course, I also knew that India was a country in transition - population growing rapidly, the high tech sector exploding even faster. Well, this was one case in which knowing intellectually about something and experiencing it personally are two very different things.

And before I say anything else about my time in India, I need to say this: I saw very little of it, and most of what I saw was from the window of a moving car. Of those six days, I spent a total of four hours as a tourist, being driven around Delhi, seeing some interesting tombs, mosques, monuments, etc. The whole rest of the time, I was either (a) presenting on PL/SQL best practices and Quest Code Tester to enthused groups of developers; (b) driving in totally insane traffic between those presentations; (c) sleeping in very nice hotels (but having time to nothing but sleep in them, sadly); (d) going to and from airports; and (e) flying around in planes.

I am not complaining, though. I told Krish that I was not coming to India to be a tourist. I wanted him to make the most of my short time there, and he did just that. In the five work days, I spoke directly to some 2000 developers! My audiences ranged from 10 (which was also one of the best in terms of discussions) to 400, at my public seminar in Mumbai just last night. I usually did three or four presentations each day (and I must tell you: I do not want to even think about presenting on best practices for quite a while).

Even with that very limited view of India, I could write for pages and pages about what I experienced. Sadly, I have many other things to do. So instead I will offer a scattering of impressions and highlights.

PL/SQL Ascending!

PL/SQL is an interesting language and the people who write PL/SQL code make up a very unusual programming culture. It is relatively small - perhaps a couple million developers. And PL/SQL developer are generally more focused on getting the job done than on debating the pros and cons of methodologies like Extreme Programming and Test-Driven Development. Yet there is a broad and deep appreciation of the language, from its simplicity and ease of use to its powerful methods of accessing the Oracle database.

In the US and Europe, it is also a language that is seeing very slow growth, in terms of numbers of new PL/SQL developers. It would be fairly typical for me to present to a group of 200 at an Oracle User Group event and find that only 10 people have started using PL/SQL in the last year or two.

In India, the numbers are starkly different. In a group of similar size, easily 50-75 people will be new to PL/SQL! That really warms my heart and gives me hope of ever blossoming book sales (:-) What can I say? I still need to food on the table...). And they are so young! One of my standard jokes goes like this:

"The programs you write today are likely going to still be running 20 years from now. How many of you have children under the age of 15?"

And in the US crowds of 200, perhaps 1/3 will raise their hands.

"Then there is good chance," I continue, "that some of those kids will grow up to be programmers. And maybe, just maybe, your daughter or son will end up maintaining your code. So you have two choices: either never put your name in your code or write code that you are proud of, that will not cause nightmares for little Johnny or Sally."

That gets a pretty good laugh in most of my presentations (so yes, I admit it: I have a standard repertoire of jokes. I am a "stand up comedi-programmer."). But in India, when I ask "How many of you have kids under the age of 15?" they all stare back at me unmoving. Heck, I think some of them are 15 years old!

In India, PL/SQL developers are young, they are energetic, they are enthusiastic, they are eager to learn. It was a real joy to spend time with so many of you in this past week, and I very much look forward to my next trip!

Rock Star!

I travel around the US and Europe mostly, doing trainings and presentations. And I always remind the people who are organizing the events that while it seems like it is easy to get people to come attend my events in respectable numbers, if you want to get lots of people to show up, you have at least pretend that the event is a BIG DEAL, really super special, etc. Otherwise, why would anyone else think it was going to be a big-deal, must-attend event?

Well, Quest India really took this advice to heart. Besides the on-site presentations at something like 15 companies, Quest organized two public events, one in Bangalore and the other in Mumbai. Hundreds of people attended each one and they were greeted by quite a show. I expect to post some vide clips on YouTube soon - you will not believe your eyes. A full stage backdrop set up, with an introductory video with pounding music...and then the phony fog hisses across the stage and as I step through the door in the center, confetti explodes into the air all around me! I have never experienced anything like it (and, honestly, I am not sure how much I want to :-) It was very entertaining, but I sure did a little bit weird).

After that rousing introduction, though, I got right back down to talking about PL/SQL, running code and so on. But for those few moments, I could pretend I was a "rock star."

.... to be continued ....

October Travelogue #2: I arrive in India!

[Note: now I am home, after flying for over 17 hours yesterday. Ugh. So nice to sleep in my own bed and hug my wife...the following was written on Tuesday, Oct 22....more to come...including photos]

Continuing my travelogue, I left Germany on Saturday morning but instead of heading home (which I would really loved to have done, given the small amount of time I have had lately to spend with my wife, Veva), I got onto a Qatar Airways Airbus 330 and headed to Doha, Qatar. This is a very popular transfer point to India (I assume Qatar is offering not only many flights but also low fares), and as a result I visited the Middle East for the first time ever.

In other words, even though I have been very active on Middle East peace issues for the last five years or so (with a focus on supporting Israeli soldiers who refuse to enforce the occupation of the West Bank), even though I was raised in a typical Conservative Jewish home on Long Island, I have never visited Israel nor any other country in that region.

And this wasn't much of a visit in Doha or the Middle East - I never left the departures area. Still, when I came down off the airplane, it felt a bit special and different to stand on this ground. I stood there in the heat and looked around, eager to make the moment last - and immediately an airlines employee began to urge me to get on the bus. Take it easy, there!

Then a long bus ride to the terminal....looking out the window, I was struck by how much the area directly outside the bus reminded me of Chicago in the winter, after a light snow. Of course, in this case, it was sand and not snow, but in the darkness, they looked much the same!

Entering the terminal, I saw that all the signs were in English and Arabic -- and was immediately struck at how beautiful Arabic lettering is. English seems very boxy and boring, all business, compared to the flowing curves of Arabic (the same is true for Sanskrit - beautiful, as I glance at the signs on the seat in front of my on my current plane ride from Delhi to Bangalore).

And a few hours later off to Delhi! I arrived in Delhi at 6 AM on Sunday and my first impressions were that this is an old airport in major need of upgrading. Which, apparently, is how the airport authority feels about it as well, since they are in the midst of a major renovation project. Then whisked away by my arranged driver for the ride to the Le Meridien hotel....I am not sure if he was just being friendly or was hoping for a better tip, but he decided to show me the sights all the way, pointing out embassies, big government buildings, etc., usually creeping along at about 3 MPH to provide his brief explanations in halting English. And all I, rather exhausted on 1 hour of sleep, wanted to do was to get to the hotel....

I finally arrived and found that the Le Meridien was a very beautiful and fancy hotel - the sort that makes me a bit nervous, because they are so well appointed. I'm just not much of a luxury sort of guy. My room was very modern, with a console for all electronic operations right at my fingertips by the bed.

And then after just a couple hours' in that beautiful room, off I went for a half day of a tour through Delhi, organized on my behalf by Quest Software India. I saw the Presidential Palace, the Parliament building, India Gate (on which are carved the names of all soldiers who have died for their nation, I believe since World War II - not sure about that. I mostly looked at it and hoped that they would not run out of space), several tombs and adjoining mosques, the Red Fort and more. It was a hot sunny day and I got worn down rather quickly. My driver, Amar Singh, was very enthusiastic and knowledgeable, though I would have enjoyed it more if he was a bit more fluent in English; discussions were rather difficult. Sadly for me, October 21 is a national holiday, so all the museums were closed - a big disappointment.

Delhi is an enormous, busy place. Usually, traffic is an utter horror. Sunday, it wasn't as bad as usual, because of the holiday, but it also made some areas and streets even more crowded, as they prepared to celebrate. I was intrigued by the three-wheeled, very small taxi vehicles that zoomed in and out of every available open space (when, that is, a motorcycle hadn't beaten them to that space). Everyone honks at everyone else, but without any real anger so far as I could tell. And, yes, the contrast between wealth (such as my hotel) and poverty (the beggars lining almost every street, knocking at the window of my car whenever we stopped at a light, accosting me as I walked around the India Gate and other places) is downright depressing. Of course, this contrast also exists in the US - and it is getting worse with every passing year, under the grand leadership of "W". Yet it is a bit more "in your face" in India, unavoidable, ever-present. I guess in the US, we have compartmentalized and hidden extreme poverty from the eyes and thoughts of every day middle class existence. And I am not saying that is a good thing, but there it is.

One of my favorite moments in Delhi was standing at the window of hotel and watching hawks circling around on the air currents, right outside my window (which was, unfortunately, quite dirty). I also saw flocks of noisy, green parrots swooping about.

The roads are full of three-wheeled, 2 stroke engine mini-taxis (they are all green in Delhi, yellow in Bangalore and their official name is "auto rickshaw"). They jam themselves in between cars. And then the endless stream of motorcycles fit into every space between the mini-taxis. So there is absolutely no room to maneuver, but everyone maneuvers endlessly.

Well, that was it. A very short visit to Delhi, a very constrained visit to Delhi. My friends here at Quest did not think it would be a good idea for me to just go out and walk around (my usual, preferred method of visiting a new city). So I was driven around, I saw the very typical tourist sites, I bought my wife a gift, and then back to the hotel.

Because by 3 PM, I was mostly sitting in the car and falling asleep, and when I was awake, I was thinking about how I would have to wake up before 5 AM to catch my flight to Bangalore.

And that is the flight I am on now....I have two days and nights in Bangalore, the highlight of which will be a public seminar on Tuesday evening to which almost 900 developers have registered (!!). So I will write another entry in my blog after we see how that goes.

Looking forward to years of sub-standard flying in the US....

Reading through the Herald Tribune (NY Times' international daily - I always look for it when in Europe because it has a daily chess puzzle), I came across this item:

Strapped US airlines fail to upgrade fleets

"In essence, a new generation of jetliners - bigger, more comfortable, more fuel-efficient - is largely bypassing U.S. airlines and their customers."

Instead, they are being purchased by European, Asian and Middle Eastern airlines. U.S. airlines have $28 billion in the bank (cash) but prefer to use it to pay down debt, rather than upgrade their fleets. We are assured that the old planes (flying for 20, 25, even 35 years) are perfectly safe. Oh, goodie.

Flying back from a two weeks in Europe and India, it just struck me as another example of how our empire is in decline. We, the citizens of the US, supposedly among the most powerful and affluent people in the world, live in a country whose bridges are falling apart, whose mass transit systems are in decay and crisis, millions of people are being foreclosed out of their homes, and we are shuttled around the country in dilapidated, dirty airplanes. Oh, and we, our government, somehow can't afford to even make sure that our children receive health care (thanks, George W, for your brave dedication to fiscal discipline by vetoing legislative that would help children instead of your cronies in Halliburton and the despotic Saudi Arabia).

Meanwhile, the very rich among us grow unimaginably richer, fly around in their own private jets, build bigger walls to stay cleanly separated from the rabble.

I know, I know - what a pathetic bleeding heart I am! Well, I'd rather my heart bleeds than is a stone, looking down from on high and urging everyone to "trust the market."

October Travelogue #1: A week in Europe

Hello there from Chennai, India! I am halfway through my first ever visit to India, and I am simultaneously exhausted and exhilarated by the experience. What a country, and what an almost-overwhelming population of PL/SQL Developers! In the past three days, I have spoken directly to well over 1,000 programmers. It has been an absolute morning-to-night whirlwind of activity organized by my very capable friends at QSFT India: Krishnan, Selza, Berta and Christina. I will write more about my experiences in the coming week or so, but for now, I am going to post what I wrote about last week's trip through Europe:

Quest Software organized a series of seminars and Toad Conferences in Norway, the Netherlands and Germany. I volunteered to talk about my favorite topics: best practices and testing.

I started off with a visit to one of my favorite countries, Norway. I like it so much, because they are just so darned civilized. Norway, in case you didn't realize it, is a major oil exporter, extracting crude from the North Sea. As a result, the country has lots of money, but they use it wisely, compared to so many other nations.

What do I mean by "wise"? Rather than allow oil wealth to concentrate into the hands of a very few people, Norway invests in social services to provide a high quality of life for everyone. It also recognizes that oil revenue will not last forever. To address this issue, Norway has established a national pension fund that today tops $350B in value. More than that, the fund operates in a totally transparent manner, publicly listing all of its investments (which are widely and shallowly - no more than 1% investment in any one company - spread across the world) and also explaining its investment strategy to its citizens.

That's smart, that's democratic, that's a model for other countries to follow. Thanks, Norway, for leading the way!

Then on to another favorite nation and city - Netherlands and Amsterdam. I always greatly enjoy coming to the Netherlands for several reasons:

* Amsterdam was my first international destination, years ago, when I participated in a European Oracle User Group. Amsterdam was in the midst of a wonderful spring, the weather was great, everything was subtly and not-so-subtly (think: coffeeshops) different. I had a wonderful time!

* The PL/SQL community in the Netherlands is just about the most advanced I have ever encountered. Many developers are very interested in writing high quality code, in exploring different ways of creatively using PL/SQL, in engaging with PL/SQL as more than just a way of getting their jobs done.

* My good friend, Patrick Barel (PL/SQL developer, Delphi developer and about-to-be newly hired AMIS consultant), has welcomed me into his family and so whenever I can, I stay with him and renew my friendships with Quinty, Kayleigh, Mitchell and their mom, Dana. It is so nice to avoid the hotels and stay in a real home with friends!

Now, on this trip, I made a couple of too-short presentations at the Toad conference, which was held at Ajax Stadium. Ajax is the Amsterdam football team. The stadium is enormous, and while we of course presented in the conference center, we all got together for a group photo in the stadium itself. That was different. At the end of the conference, I participated for the first time in the SQL-PL/SQL quiz by Lucas Jellema and Alex Nuijten of AMIS Consulting. That was hilarious and very challenging, but I am proud to say that even though I had no idea about many of their quiz topics (centered as they were in SQL and DBA features), I was able to use logic to narrow down my choices. I ended up 1 out of 14 answers correct, and was quite happy with that.

I learned one very important lesson from this conference: never agree to speak for less than one hour in a session. I had just 45 minutes each for my talks, and it was simply not enough. From now on, I draw the line: give me at least one hour - preferably two - or leave me off the agenda!

But the Toad conference was only the first part of my day. In the evening, Ordina Consulting held its second public program featuring yours truly as its speaker. They did this the last time I was in the Netherlands (back in March) and we had a really fun time; over 200 enthusatic, easily amused people (they laughed at every one of my jokes) showed up to hear my thoughts about best practices. In October, we again had close to 200 people in the MediaPark, a futuristic, high-tech conference center in Utrecht. Once again, a very attentive and responsive audience and, once again, Ordina did a bang-up job organizing a really fine program. My warm thanks to Jenny and Frank!

What next? Ah, yes! Germany: Cologne, Berlin and finally Mannheim (near Frankfurt). I took a 6:30 AM high speed train from Amsterdam Central Station to Cologne. Very nice form of transportation. I then stepped out of the Cologne station to see the incredible Cathedral, a gothic wonder with a very tall tower (which I was to climb in a few hours). I headed over to the Hilton and a little while later performed for the "masses." Actually, the audience size was a bit on the small size, something that repeated over the next two days as well; it seems that the Toad events attracted many more DBAs than developers; I am not sure why. They were also much quieter and more serious than the Dutch, partly I believe due to a bit more of a language barrier. Yet some of the attendees gave me great ideas for new features to add to Quest Code Tester.

With the afternoon free, I went to the Cathedral and climbed the 500 steps up through a very confining circular stone stairwell. Good exercise, a great view, and a marvel of gothic architecture. Besides that, the highlight of my Cologne visit were the excellent pastries and numerous Snickers bars put out over the break. Photos to come later....

From there, to Berlin - my first time ever to this historic city. Unfortunately, time was very short and besides giving my presentations, I only had time for a short walk in the neighborhood of the Crowne Plaza hotel. Photos to come later....

And then Mannheim. Following the pattern of this trip, we traveled into the evening, then rented a big Mercedes van to drive the hour to Mannheim and the Dorint hotel, which was a major disappointment. To my and others' utter amazement, this conference center hotel only offered dial-up Internet access in the rooms; I had to sit out by the elevator to find a wireless connection, thereby sharing my conversation with my wife via Skype with anyone going in and out of the elevators. To plug in my laptop at the desk, I had to unplug the lamp. No fitness center. And to top all that off, at 7 AM construction workers started their day right outside my window, making more than enough noise to ensure that I did not need an alarm to wake up in time. Very irritating.

All in all, though, a fine trip to Germany. Many thanks to Daniela for organizing the events so professionally. And it was great to see again my friends Johannes and Thomas, two fine Quest SCs.

An amazing Scrabble achievement

Veva and I have been playing Scrabble lots lately....

A few weeks ago I was delighted to put down this word

VOICING

Nothing terribly special, except that I was able to put it across the board in such a way that both the V and the G were on double word spaces - so I got a quadruple word score! That was the first time I had ever done that.

But this accomplishment was nothing compared to last night.

On Veva's first turn she put down BREEZES - 7 letter word -> 106 points!

I immediately countered on MY first turn with SOUTHING - another 7 letter word but "only" 74 points.

Well, from there my game definitely took a turn for the worse; I ended up with only 298 points.

But Veva...Veva...she never slowed down. She came up with a SECOND 7 letter word score: DIVERTED, good for another 70 points, followed that by CREW on a triple word score that netted 48 points and....

She ended up with a score of 437 points, an average score per turn of 21 points!

Incredible.

That was a lot of fun, though I have to admit I would have had MORE fun if I was the one who got 437 points.

:-)

Liberal Media bites again? Hah!

I find the charge that the US media is "liberal" to be especially amusing, because it is one of those claims that has no resonance in the real world. But if "you" (that is, the people taking up lots of our bandwidth on radio, TV, etc.) repeat something often and loudly enough, after a while, people seem to accept it as a sort of truth.

It is, for example, almost impossible to find a real left wing voice or face on television. And of course in recent years, all major media, even that most "liberal" of newspapers, The New York Times, went out of their way to support President Bush as he lied his way straight into the tragedy unfolding in Iraq.

Yet those are very broad-brush examples/counter-arguments. I ran across a much more concrete example this morning of how the US media is largely biased in favor of the right wing.

Check out this article on Yahoo News:

Springsteen ready for criticism over "Magic" words

From Reuters, it leads off with this text:

"Bruce Springsteen's new album "Magic" marks his return to the pop sound that propelled him to mega-stardom in the 1980s, but the hook-laden melodies mask lyrics portraying an America of despair and hopelessness.

"Springsteen says he is prepared for criticism from those who may take the lyrics on his latest album "Magic" as unpatriotic for speaking out against the Iraq war and President George W. Bush in war time."

Now, c'mon, folks - who at this point pretends that this war is popular or that criticism of this war would be considered "unpatriotic"? Just the right wing nut cases. The war is demonstrably, overwhelmingly unpopular. Many people, from all walks of life, all political parties, are criticizing Bush and Cheney and Gates.

Wouldn't a more accurate headline and overall subject for this article be something like: "Springsteen to put Bush Administration further on defensive with new album"?

This article, in other words, is not really news. It is a twisting of the news to persuade us that we should be thinking of Iraq war criticism as being "unpatriotic."

PL/SQL developers converge on .... Newark!

Just back from the third Oracle PL/SQL Programming conference: OPP2007-East.

Close to 200 developers and their close friends in Quest Software, Oracle Corp, OReilly Media and Dulcian (the sponsors) gathered at the Sheraton Newark Airport Hotel to rejoice in all that is PL/SQL: two days of intensive training, conversation and contests.

Unlike the "work hard, play hard" theme of ODTUG's Kaleidoscope conference (held in June), we at OPP proudly call ourselves the "Seriously Practical" conference.

At OPP, we mostly work you hard and then work you some more.

I started off on Tuesday with a keynote at 8:15 AM, after which there were five 1.5 hour sessions organized in four tracks (Best Practices, Fundamentals, Advanced and Vendor). The sessions ended at 7:15 PM. But wait -- that's not all! For another twenty or so brave souls, it was time to participate in the third-ever PL/SQL Test-a-Thon.

The Test-a-Thon ("Who can build the most/best automated tests for a set of programs you've never seen before, in an hour?") went till 9 PM, resulting in a very pleased winner (closely beating out two others nipping at his heels): Todd Barkus of Barkus Consulting, Minneapolis. Congratulations, Todd!

That is one very long day, and with little time for sleep, we all gathered the next morning at 8 AM to listen to Bryn Llewellyn, PL/SQL Product Manager, tell us all about the wonders to come in Oracle Database 11g.

Poor fellow - his laptop powered down on its own accord twice, leaving him to explain things like the Function Result Cache, compound triggers, native compilation and more without the benefit of a single Powerpoint slide. Horrors! As expected, though, Bryn captivated his audiences with both his technical know-how and dry wit.

Cursory scans of attendee evaluations reveal the following:

• Continued, tremendous enthusiasm for PL/SQL and the OPP conferences
• Great appreciation for the deep expertise of the instructors. (Well, it is rather hard to hide behind a superficial understanding of topics when you have one or more 1.5 hours sessions to fill!)
  
• "We don't want to do five sessions in one day, going from 8 AM to 7:15PM!"
• "We need more breaks - 1.5 hours straight is tough to do over and over again."

Wimps. :-) OK, OK, we will look adjusting our schedule!

Many thanks to ODTUG for taking on sponsorship of these conferences, to Kathleen McCasland and YCC for its very competent organizing of the event, to Bryn Llewellyn and the PL/SQL team for their fine work on our language of choice, to our other speakers/instructors (John Jeunnette, John Beresniewicz, Ken Atkins, Karen Morton, Paul Dorsey, Mary Hunsaker Gable, Ron Hardman, John Pocknell, Mark Sewtz and Anthony Harper).

We are thinking now about holding the next OPP in the Southwest, in the first quarter of 2008. If you would like to be informed about our Oracle PL/SQL Programming conferences, let me know by sending an email to steven@stevenfeuerstein.com.

I know what I did this summer

I went down to Puerto Rico and "worked the land." My wife and I built an enclosure for a vegetable garden. The enclosure was necessary because the land there is almost 100% clay. Actually, a wide variety of colors of clay. Most of it is orange, but we also found big chunks of brilliant turquoise, as well as shades of red and other colors. Veva took some of the clay back with her to Chicago to take a closer look and see if it is something she can actually use in her wonderful ceramist efforts.

This is what the vegetable garden looked like when we arrived.

In other words, an area cleared of what we decided were weeds and, though you can barely make them out, four pineapple plants in the top left corner. They are not doing too well, since it is pretty much solid clay.

To actually be able to grow vegetables there, Veva decided that several things were needed:

* Much better soil - soil that would hold water, soil that contained nutrients and minerals and whatever else tomato and lettuce and other edible plants need to grow.

* A way to keep that soil from washing away in the heavy rains that come almost every afternoon in this tropical part of the world.

* Also, a way to keep the dogs (both those that live at our place, Bunny and Panda, and those that roam Puerto Rico in packs looking for mates, fun and food) and other animals away from our vegetables.

Her decision? To build a wall with fence around this vegetable patch and then load it up with compost and sand. And then mix it all in with the clay to break up the ground and speed the conversion of all of these materials into wonderful growing soil. Do that for several months and, along with lots of sun and rain, it should be ready to start feeding us on a regular basis (or those of us who are living at the old finca).

So...we measured the size of the garden and then went to our favorite ferreteria (hardware store): Mendoza Brothers. Only two miles or so from the finca, it is run by Danny and Joey, two NJ-born guys who moved back to the island when they were kids. Also, Roger the youngest brother works there. Now, "hardware store" doesn't really accurately describe this place. It is more of an open area (fenced in) and full of wood, metal, bricks, etc. with a relatively small building that holds tools, poisons (lots of people use Roundup on the island; we use no chemicals on our land) and so on.

Well, so we ordered 120 cinder blocks, 100 ft of chicken wire, about 120 feet of rebar (steel rods that we would use to hold the chicken wire in place). I could turn this into a really long blog by explaining how much work it took to get those cinder blocks up to our place, since that entails driving a truck down a 1/4 mile access road, over a bridge crossing a creek and then up a really steep hill. Instead, I will summarize: Joey dropped the cinder blocks off just off the main road and we then moved them up to the house 30 at a time. Lots of work.

But then they were there and we laid in the first row of blocks for the wall. You can see that the level to the right is much lower than on the left (up the hill). We were such engineers!

Then we started putting in the second layer of blocks (actually a total of three on the lower end of the hill), along with some of the rebar supports.

After two days of hard, sweaty work (we mostly did this in the morning before the sun hit that area full force), we had our wall completed and even lay down an entry path to the garden area with our signatures. I know what you are thinking: this is pretty crude work. Well, I suppose so. Chris, our son, certainly thought so. In fact, he thinks what we did is incredibly ugly. Maybe so. We were definitely focusing on functionality and getting something done that could be used ASAP.

And we weren't done yet! Next we put up the chicken wire fencing to keep out the animals. Then we sunk two four-by-four posts to which the door to the enclosure would be attached by Chris (we decided he would do a much better job of this than us).

Then I spent hours raking up twelve wheelbarrow loads of dead leaves and other partially decomposed matter and dumping them onto the clay. I also dumped a large volume of sand which was sitting out at the end of our access road, left over from the monumental effort of putting in a new bridge over the creek (3 6o-foot long steel I-beams and who knows how many pounds of hand-mixed cement). Then Veva dug all of this stuff around, mizing it together and there we left it: one enclosed garden, ready for continued composting, turning over, and then finally planting!

We were and are very proud of ourselves. Major accomplishment. Could be growing our own food 3 - 6 months from now.

And while I am at it, here are a few more photos from our trip:

Insane Zuzi, the kitten, tussling with Bunny the very friendly dog. Bunny is very gentle with her, as you can see.

A storm rolling over Mayaguez and heading to Aguadilla. Incredible how you can see the rain when it is falling so heavily from clouds.

Some of the beautiful flowers growing near the house. And this magnificent bird of paradise plant is almost beyond description when blooming (right now, I am just very excited that it is growing so well, since we almost burned it to the ground last New Year's Eve, when we lit an incredible (and some might say incredibly stupid) bonfire that soared 40 feet into the air.

We planted four citrus trees: orange, grapefruit, mandarin orange, lime. These complement the others growing on the property, many of which are too high to easily pick the fruit. Again, we enclosed them in cinder block and chicken wire, so the dogs would not dig them up.

So, yes, that's what I did on my summer vacation this year: work hard, but work in a very different way from the usual work (brain work, fingertip work, eyeball straining work).