Friday, July 29, 2011

Messages from Readers

Mel sent this to me yesterday:
After following you for many years, talking to you at Oracle World and yourhome on one occasion in the '90's I am happy to report that I AM RETIRED.  No more Oracle, Peely-Squeely or troubleshooting response times.  I had gone from doing rpt (forerunner of Reports) all the way through the latest Forms and Reports (I started with Oracle 5).  I will miss all of it.
 
Ooooh, I am soooo jealous. :-)
And a few weeks ago, a player at the PL/SQL Challenge wrote:

Can you sell me a book please? I just took, and probably failed miserably, an assessment for a dream-job. I am a generalist in PL/SQL, and just do not have exposure to many of the higher level PL/SQL packages. The assessment reminded me of your quizzes. Your quizzes are OK for learning this sort of stuff but sort of out of context; I would like more of an overview and I don't want just documentation, but explanations of why you would want to use such and such a package (as opposed to using some other package). 
 
So I sent this player a link to my books, and a week later I received this note:

Last week I asked you to sell me a book. After reading the first 100 pages of your book covered in ants, I have decided you should put a link up "about yourself" and then have links to your new books on amazon. Your book is really great. Really readable! 
 
I really liked this last note. I don't want to sound boastful, but O'Reilly has sold several hundred thousand copies of the "ants book" (aka, Oracle PL/SQL Programming). So it's kind of cute that this reader urges me to get the word out "about myself" and my books.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Latest PL/SQL Challenge championship playoff results

We just held the 6th quarterly championship playoff at the PL/SQL Challenge. 34 players competed, answering five tough quizzes.It takes a lot to qualify for the playoff: you must rank in the top 25 over the entire quarter (and some 60 quizzes); your percentage correct must be very high; or you are selected in a wildcard process that still requires a high level of play.

You will find the results and rankings below. Congratulations to all players, of course, but let's give a special round of applause to our top three players:
  • Gary Myers (#1), who also ranked #2 in the last playoff and who wins a US$250 Amazon.com gift card. His first place ranking is especially impressive given the short time Gary took to answer the questions.
  • Chris Saxon (#2), who wins a US$175 Amazon.com gift card
  • João Barreto (#3), who wins a US$100 Amazon.com gift card
Good luck to everyone in the quizzes for Q3 2011 - I hope to see you in the next playoff!

Rank Name Country Total Time Total Score
1Gary MyersAustralia11 mins 21 secs2848
2Chris SaxonUnited Kingdom19 mins 32 secs2734
3João BarretoPortugal15 mins 06 secs2598
4Viacheslav StepanovRussia19 mins 57 secs2551
5Frank SchraderGermany19 mins 50 secs2353
6Ludovic SzewczykBelgium18 mins 35 secs2328
7Siim KaskEstonia18 mins 53 secs2322
8james suCanada16 mins 28 secs2321
9kowidoNo Country Set19 mins 49 secs2254
10Mike PargeterUnited Kingdom16 mins 41 secs2216
11Sean StuberUnited States20 mins 00 secs2150
12Randy GettmanUnited States18 mins 58 secs2146
13Filipe SilvaPortugal18 mins 04 secs2139
14owbegUkraine15 mins 48 secs2109
15Dalibor Kova Croatia18 mins 37 secs2053
16Jeff KempAustralia11 mins 38 secs1942
17macabreRussia19 mins 41 secs1931
18Theo AsmaNetherlands14 mins 48 secs1829
19Mojibul HoqueBangladesh03 mins 57 secs1821
20xtenderRussia04 mins 32 secs1809
21Kevan GellingIsle of Man18 mins 28 secs1781
22Anna OnishchukIreland17 mins 12 secs1706
23DikkieDickNetherlands13 mins 58 secs1696
24Alexander PolivanyUkraine20 mins 00 secs1675
25mentzel.iudithIsrael20 mins 00 secs1575
26Marc ThompsonAustralia19 mins 39 secs1557
27QBelgium16 mins 12 secs1551
28cleeUnited States17 mins 56 secs1441
29NickLUnited Kingdom19 mins 55 secs1402
30Pavel ZemanCzech Republic20 mins 01 secs1375
31Gerry171United States19 mins 00 secs1345
32Rajesh VenkataramaniIndia16 mins 43 secs1341
33RosemaryUnited States18 mins 38 secs727
34Jerry BullUnited States18 mins 47 secs40

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Special $49.95 One-month Subscripton PL/SQL Channel

I announced availability of the PL/SQL Channel several months ago: 27+ hours of recorded trainings on the Oracle PL/SQL language, available at the PL/SQL Channel and covering many (but admittedly not yet all) features of the PL/SQL language. At $395 per year per developer for unlimited access to all this content, the PL/SQL Channel is the most cost-effective use of your training dollars for PL/SQL developers, with much greater short- and long-term impact than one-time, instructor-led trainings.

I have also found, however, that many developers (or their managers) are reluctant to pay a subscription fee for a whole year, when their training budgets are very tight and they are not sure they will be using the PL/SQL Channel videos for such an extended length of time.

We have decided, therefore, to offer access to the PL/SQL Channel for 30 days for just $49.95. Yes, that's right - for less than $2 per day you can access dozens of PL/SQL videos with detailed trainings, plus their supporting presentation documents and code. This special price will be available through the end of September 2011.
 
We are also continuing our free, 30 day trial of the PL/SQL Channel (limited, however, to viewing of just five videos).

To start your free trial of the PL/SQL Channel, click here.

To order your $49.95 subscription to the PL/SQL Channel, click here.

Note: the thirty-day period starts on the day you purchase your subscription.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Quick guide to recent PL/SQL Challenge quizzes

For those of you who have not yet started visiting the PL/SQL Challenge website regularly, I thought I'd offer this guide to recent quizzes.

Oracle PL/SQL Quizzes


In the past week (11 July - 16 July), 972 Oracle technologists were busy answering quizzes and exploring the library of past quizzes.

Played on 11 July 2011: When a cursor is opened, Oracle identifies the set of data that satisfies the query. As long as that cursor remains open, that dataset is not affected by any changes that are made (committed or not) to the tables from which that data is retrieved.

Played on 12 July 2011: When working with nested tables and varrays, you must initialize the collection and extend the collection to make room for elements in the collection. Under some circumstances, however, Oracle will automatically extend the collection for you.

Played on 13 July 2011: Use INITCAP and NLS_INITCAP to easily convert a string so that the first letter of each new word (alphanumerics separated by "white space") is upper-cased.

Played on 14 July 2011: Use the LIMIT clause with FETCH BULK COLLECT to place an upper limit on the number of rows retrieved (and therefore PGA memory consumed) with each fetch.

Played on 15 July 2011: You can define functions to execute in parallel, as part of a parallel query. This can be accomplished with an explicit PARALLEL_ENABLE clause in the function header. Oracle can also implicitly determine that a schema-level function can be executed in parallel.

We also recently started up APEX and SQL quizzes in July.....

Oracle Application Express Quizzes


Played on 2 July 2011: It is possible to make an alternative report the initial settting for the Interactive Report page in several ways. What you see in the Interactive Report can also be changed through the url.

Played on 9 July 2011: The developer must be careful regarding timing when referencing session state.

SQL Quizzes


Played on 2 July 2011: Use the ALL comparison condition to easily apply a WHERE clause predicate to a set of values or a subquery.

Played on 9 July 2011: Beginning in version 11 select statements support the PIVOT clause for easy pivoting of result sets.

Friday, July 15, 2011

A conversation with Dick Morris' "assistant"

Dick Morris is doing robocalls to save the country from Barack Obama.

Morris provided (in secrecy) advice to good, old Bill Clinton on how to work with Republicans. And his favorite sexual fetish is toe sucking. Hey, to each his own.

And now Dick is calling "conservative leaders" in communities around the country to enlist them in his "revolt" (name of new book) against Obama and his "socialist" policies.

That is hilarious on several levels. First, Obama is (to my mind, sadly) very distant from any sort of socialist. He is a status quo politican trying to hold the line against both real left wing change and right wing craziness.

Second, Dick had his robots call me. Conservative leader? Wow. That must be some list they are working with.

Well, I decided to take and stay on the call. It was lots of fun!

He gave his recorded, vapid spiel (he actually said that he believes his book will be the single most important tool to defeat Obama. Now, that's arrogance.) and then asked me to stay on the line so I could take a survey with his "assistant." I stayed on. A real, live woman came on the line.

"Are you Dick Morris' assistant?" I asked her brightly.

Pause. "Um, well, I guess I am one of his assistants." OK.

So then the "survey" began. "Which Republican President do you like best?"

I am sure they were fishing for Reagan. I said: "Abraham Lincoln."

Pause. "Oh, well, that's the first time I've heard that."

"Really?" I replied with amazement in my voice. "I mean, he is like the original, great Republican president! Abolished slavery! That's hard to beat!"

She agreed tentatively and we moved on.

She then asked me a question about which was really a diatribe about Obama's policies and how he helps Muslims more than he helps Americans.

"Really?" I asked. "Cause he's sure been helping Americans a lot, all that money in the stimulus plan...what's he been doing for Muslims?"

"Uh, well, I don't really know, but..." and she gathered herself together... "Muslims can come to this country and think they just get medical care for free. No other countries do that."

"Really? I thought there were a bunch of European countries - I guess they're kind of socialist - where if you get hurt, you go to a hospital and they just take care of you. That sounds great to me!"

Then she said something about government deciding what kind of health care we can get. To which I replied: "That sounds like my HMO. You've got insurance company bureaucrats deciding whether or not I can get a procedure done. They're not doctors. It drives me crazy!"

"I know what you mean," she said.

There: just goes to show you....no matter the political divide, everyone hates insurance companies and HMOs.

Needless to say, she didn't get a donation from me.

Monday, July 04, 2011

Government of the people, by the people, for the people? All gone....

That's a great line (from Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg address) and I daresay that many Americans instinctively believe in it....but I also would betcha that very few Americans believe it is true.

I can still remember the night that Ronald Reagan beat Jimmy Carter. We sat around in shock. How could this clown have won?

And then the latest cycle of the onslaught by the rich and powerful against...everyone else...started again in this country. Reagan and his cohorts followed an astonishingly simple formula:
  • No one likes to pay taxes.
  • Everyone has a gripe about the government.
  • So blame the government for all our problems.
  • Increase cynicism and distrust of citizens for their government.
  • Then push hard to cut taxes (mostly those on the rich) because our government will only misuse those funds.
  • Then with reduced revenues, we have to cut back on services to our citizens.
  • Those citizens get even more unhappy with the government and so they agree to more tax cuts, more cuts in service...and...
The rich get richer, the middle class disappears, the poor...well, they are mostly invisible in our "great nation" in any case.

And so we come to 2011: Bush and Obama gave so much of our money away to bankers and Wall Street (with no strings attached), they got us into and keep us in wars of choice that suck up hundreds of billions of our tax dollars, and almost every Congressperson is primarily beholden to lobbyists and "donors" (read: bribes), that, gee whiz, so sorry, but there just isn't any money for health care, our roads, our children, our schools...you name it.

Today, the Chicago Tribune reports that the House of Reps has voted to end a program to test our produce for deadly bacterium like E. coli. Just weeks after an outbreak in Germany killed 35 people. This program costs $4.5M a year. Small change, a pittance, to protect our population. Why would they do this?

Ah, because the Produce Marketing Association has lobbied hard against it. "Unnecessary recalls", excessive regulation, blah, blah, blah.

This is a truly sucky Fourth of July. Our soldiers continue to die (and continue to kill, both innocents and combatants) in poorly planned wars with limited public support. Our government has been hijacked by people who hate our government and don't give two shits about our citizenry, our children, our future. They just care about lining their pockets. And we, the people, watch our country go down the drain, leaving behind millionaires and billionaires who will continue to do well...by selling their stuff to growing middle classes in other nations.

Friday, June 24, 2011

One, Two, Many Quizzes!

Eight months ago, you could visit www.plsqlchallenge.com and play the daily PL/SQL quiz...and that was it. If you wanted to play the monthly Toadworld PL/SQL quiz, you had to go to a different URL. It was a very limiting and inflexible.

I visited the home page of www.plsqlchallenge.com today and was overjoyed to see this:

 
We are now offering a daily PL/SQL quiz, the monthly Toadworld quiz, and three weekly quizzes: SQL, APEX and (the newest addition) a deductive logic puzzle.

I must admit to feeling a great sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. It is now so much easier to add quizzes, to manage quizzes, accept ideas for new quizzes from players, edit and review those quizzes online...we still have a long way to go, but this is a very nice place to be, compared to one year ago.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Weiner Distractions

From CNN:


"When fed up House Democratic leaders called on Anthony Weiner to resign last weekend, they were hoping to keep what they consider a disruptive political distraction from entering a third week. But Weiner did not step down, and Tuesday outside the House Democrats first meeting since Weiner admitted to sending lewd Twitter messages, frustration among some of his colleagues was palpable."It is taking away from all the issues we are fighting for. It's been what two weeks? It's been a very long two weeks," said Weiner's Democratic colleague from New York, Rep. Carolyn McCarthy.

I don't really care if Weiner resigns or not. I am inclined to agree with those who say "Let his constituents decide." Though I really can't imagine doing the incredibly stupid things that Weiner did and actually show up for work at the House of Representatives.

But I am struck by just how easily distracted are the supposed leaders of our great nation. What's the distraction? You've all said your piece. You want him to resign or you don't. You want him to go to therapy or you don't. So now get back to work.

If someone in the media asks you about it, you say: "I've said my piece and I am now busy doing the people's work."

Our elected officials are in general just so extraordinarily lame and ineffective (well, that goes mostly for the Democrats) or downright deceptive and destructive (mostly applied to Republicans these days, but certainly not exclusively).

If it wasn't for all those corporations and lobbyists feeding them big bucks and telling them what to do, they would truly be a laughing stock the world over.

Instead they are primarily an instrument for screwing over the poor and middle class.

But at least you don't have to claim that Weiner's penis is a distraction. FOCUS PEOPLE, FOCUS!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Latest PL/SQL Challenge championship playoff results published

On 7 June, we held the fourth quarterly championship playoff at the PL/SQL Challenge. Read about it here.


This playoff was a bit of a milestone for me. We'd just installed our new 2.0 platform, allowing for much more flexible configuring and taking of quizzes. And overall it worked splendidly for the playoff, which is a multi-quiz competition, compared to the daily quiz (just one question).


I am now able to automate so much more of the processing and administration of tasks for the site. This is important, because it takes up less of my time and I move closer to the day when other administrators can manage their own quizzes, for their competitions.


And now I will celebrate by tearing myself away from the computer to do some stretching.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Tax cuts for the rich - how ridiculous, and some advice for the President

Anyone concerned with saving, strengthening, preserving out democracy (you pick the word, based on your analysis of how degraded that democracy currently is) will agree that we must stop the persistent, immoral and illegal-if-the-wealthy-did-not-write-the-laws redistribution of wealth from poor and middle classes to the richest tiny percentage.

Looks like President Obama is going to try again to build support to reinstate taxes on the well-to-do. I sure hope he does a better job this time of defining the issue and generating outrage.

The choice should be very starkly presented: "Which is more important to you: that children in this country do not suffer or that millionaires and billionaires sock away another million or billion?"

Unfortunately, from what I've read I think Obama is going to repeat an earlier mistake: he will call for cancellation of tax cuts for Americans earning $250,000 or more.

If he sticks with the $250K boundary, I fear he (and we) will lose the battle once again. The problem is that this number is (or at least sounds) too low; it sounds, in fact, like an amount that lots and lots of people in the middle class used to make or feel they could make at some point. In other words, that number makes too many people feel like it could hurt them just as they start to succeed.

I urge President Obama (and we all know that he listens closely to what I have to say) to push up that number. Say instead:

"Let's reinstate taxes for anyone earning at least $500,000 a year."

I believe this one change could cause a significant shift in the way most Americans perceive this issue, and it will make it much harder for the rich, who are strangling our nation and bringing harm to our children through their disgusting greed, to defend themselves and the laws they bribe our Congresspeople to pass.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

PL/SQL Challenge Version 2 Now Available!

We upgraded the PL/SQL Challenge website to version 2 this weekend. Check out the PL/SQL Challenge blog for more details on the features of this release.

We (myself, my son, Eli, Paul Broughton of Apex Evangelists, Scott Stegemann, with crucial assistance from  Dimitri Gielis and John Scott, principals of Apex Evangelists) have been working on this version for over six months. It involved a very thorough, interesting but also challenging redesign and reconstruction of both backend and frontend code.

In the process, we've put together a very flexible and generic platform to deliver quizzes for any technology, in virtually any format (single quiz, multiple quizzes, T/F, multiple choice, polls, etc.). My plan is to continue evolution of the platform into QaaS (Quiz as a Service), so that a single development team could use it to test and deepen understanding of their own application; vendors can use it to offer quizzes for their tools (I think a weekly quiz on Toad for Oracle would be immensely powerful), and so on.

The rollout has gone, well, sort-of-smoothly. Lots of issues to address, but no calamities. It will probably take another week to truly settle into the new version - partly because the revamping involved not only a massive number of new end user features but also a complete transformation of the way we manage the application "behind the scenes."

In versions 1.X, we had a set of basic data management pages for our metadata tables. Beyond that, I essentially used Toad for Oracle and SQL-PL/SQL scripts to manage the various tasks (set up new competitions, generate images, award prizes, etc.).  This was a drag for two reasons: took up too much of my time and made it impossible for me to hand off tasks to Eli.

So in version 2, we took several big steps towards improving visibility into the state of our data and also the ability to manage that data outside of an editor. We created, for example, a "competition at a glance" calendar that I can use to quickly check on the status of the quizzes and go directly to the appropriate data management screen. Here's the content of one week from the calendar:


And there's so much more....but I have run out of time to share my enthusiasm. I have to finish up the fifth quiz for the upcoming playoff, as well as set up five quizzes for next week.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Final test period for PL/SQL Challenge version 2

The PL/SQL Challenge development team has been working hard, hard, hard for the last five months (wow, is it that long already?) to create version 2 of the PL/SQL Challenge website. We plan to upgrade PLSQLChallenge.com over the weekend of 21 May; in the meantime, I encourage to visit  test.plsqlchallenge.com to get an early glimpse of the new design and functionality, and give us feedback.

More details on the test program may be found here.

Of course, it's taken a lot longer than I originally planned to put the site "back together." I say that because this version of the Challenge required an extensive refactoring of the table design and supporting code. That was really quite a lot of fun to do, but oh my a very intensive process.

The result is that we have taken a giant step towards transforming the website into a platform for delivering quizzes and tests: essentially, QAAS - "quiz as a service". This means that in the short run we can offer quizzes in a much more flexible manner (and also extend the site to offer quizzes on different technologies, like SQL and APEX). In the longer run, players will be able to set up their own competitions, with their own content.

For example, you could build and offer a series of quizzes to your development team about your own application, best practices, standards, etc. We're not there quite yet, but we are close.

So I hope you find some time to check out the test site; I look forward to your feedback.

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Kaleidoscope11 - the Can't Miss Conference

I would like to think that anyone reading my newsletter, anyone engaged in Oracle development of any sort, would be well aware of ODTUG's annual Kaleidoscope conference. ODTUG is one of my favorite user group organizations, and not just because they have sponsored an annual Oracle PL/SQL conference for the last five years. In this era of "monster" conferences, like Oracle Open World, ODTUG has maintained its focus on developers and its intimate engagement between participants and speakers. If you can only attend one conference this year, I strongly encourage you to consider Kaleidoscope11.

Tom Kyte, Senior Technical Architect at Oracle Corporation, will be presenting Efficient PL/SQL - Why and How to Use PL/SQL to Its Greatest Effect and A Lot about Binding. I'll be presenting as
well, on Best Practices for PL/SQL Development in APEX.  Click here for a full list of database development sessions.

In addition to these sessions, Tom,Cary Millsap of Method-R Corporation, and I will participate in a ninety-minute interactive panel discussion on database performance, coding excellence, and performance optimization. With more than thirty-five Oracle ACE Directors presenting at Kscope11, participants will have the opportunity to meet and talk with experts from around the world. Other highlights include five full-day symposiums, an opening keynote  by Joey Asher, author of Even a Geek Can Speak, and the grand
event
on board the famous Queen Mary. All sessions, symposiums, hands-on training, and events are included in the registration fee.

And to express their undying devotion to the PL/SQL community, ODTUG has graciously offered a $100 discount off the registration fee to all PL/SQL developers. Simply enter "PLSQL" for the discount code when you register.


Hope to see you there!

Saturday, April 30, 2011

A new book about APEX - with a big heart

John Scott, of Apex Evangelists, a friend, highly respected Oracle technologist, and APEX expert, has just published his (well, he led the collaborative effort involving some 12 contributors) latest book on APEX, Expert Oracle Application Express.

His first book was of great assistance to Eli, my son, who has rapidly become a very competent APEX programmer, and I am sure this new book will be of even greater help.

If you work with APEX, I encourage you to pick up a copy of this book, not only because technically it should be quite excellent (disclosure: I have not yet read it myself), but also because all the authors have agreed to donate 100% of their royalties to two memorial funds set up to support the families of two APEX technologists who died: Carl Backstrom in 2008 and Scott Spadafore in 2010.

As John says in his blog, "If you are only going to buy one APEX book this year, please buy this one!"

You'll benefit and so with the families of Carl and Scott.

Monday, April 11, 2011

PL/SQL Channel ready for your viewing!

Now that I've decided to stop my constant traveling, I need to find another way to transfer my expertise to the hundreds of thousands of PL/SQL developers around the world. My latest initiative in this area is:



Yes, the PL/SQL Channel, featuring over 27 hours of detailed and tightly focused videos, showing you how to use many of the most important features of the PL/SQL language. You can watch these videos as often as you like, any time you like - and it costs just $395 per year, per developer (with discounts for multiple subscriptions). Compare that price to the $1000+ you will pay for one day (about 6 hours) of top-quality Oracle training - that you experience once and then struggle to internalize and apply to your development efforts. So visit PL/SQL Channel to sign up for a free trial and check out the videos.

Friday, April 08, 2011

Boost your (and your children's) immune system now!

I'm sure you've all read about how bacteria mutates over time and renders antibiotics harmless to them. And that the more and more widely we use antibiotics, the more rapidly the mutations occur, and the more difficult it is to produce new antibiotics that will beat the infections.

So...what happens when we run out of effective antibiotics entirely? What happens when scientists and pharmaceuticals companies are unable or unwilling (due to the unlikely return on investment because the bacteria mutates rapidly and renders the drug useless) to produce drugs that kill the bacteria?

According to a scary article in the highly-respected Scientific American, "many lethal infections that antibiotics have held at bay for decades might soon return with a vengeance." (sorry, subscription required to read the whole article).

No, really. We may in the very immediate future face a world in which bacterial infections routinely led to deaths. To give you a sense of how far down this path we have gone, did you know that there is at this very moment an epidemic of a very dangerous and difficult to defeat bacterial infection sweeping through the hospitals in our nation?

From the article: "The expanding epidemic has forced hospitals to reassess the efficacy of their infection-control measures....protocols include washing down patients with antiseptics every day and cleaning the surfaces in patients' rooms, down to the smallest joints and nooks on monitors and computers, as often as every 12 hours."

In other words, our health care system is currently battling simply to keep the infection contained within hospitals and not let it leap into the general population. And it looks like we are losing the battle.

Still, antibiotics are prescribed widely and casually. Worse - and this is really hard to believe - livestock is still being fed round-the-clock a low dosage of antibiotics to stimulate growth. I kid you not.

So I think that we need to do some worst case planning. Corporations today hold sway in our government (supposedly of the people, by te...oh, forget it) and will not allow any policies that reduce their short-term profits. Antibiotics will continue to be used in excess, and pharmaceutical companies will not develop a pipeline of new drugs.

It is, therefore, time for each and every one of us to do the only thing we can do: boost our immune systems to strengthen our bodies' ability to fight the infections. Fortunately, the way to do this is easily accessible to most Americans:

1. Eat fresh fruit and vegetables, especially dark greens like broccoli, spinach, kale. Avoid "factory food," including processed foods and fast food. In fact, just eat food, not food products.

2. Turn off the television and move your body; get some exercise!

Sure, you can take vitamins, supplements that supposedly boost your immune system, etc. - but from what I have read, there is no clear and wide consensus that these non-food delivery mechanisms of isolated components really do help all that much.

There are, on the other hand, endless studies (not to mention common sense) to show that a diet rich in fruit and vegetables, complemented by an active lifestyle, will make you stronger, healthier and happier.

Yes, I know - the "same old, same old." - and so boring. Eat right, exercise - where's the fun in that?

It is time, however, to move beyond whining about how it's so much fun to eat chips and candy and watch TV. It is time to recognize that the arrogance and carelessness of humans, driven by our profit-motivated economies, have outstripped our ability to deal the consequences of our actions (think: Japan and nuclear power, "super bugs", climate change, Gulf oil spill...).

Please, at least apply the above advice to your children. Get them started now on a healthy diet and exercise regime. Oh, and let them play in the dirt. Keep their environment too clean and sterile, and that will harm their immune system as well.